Is that you over there, without your distractions?
You seem so stranded, so bare,
without your companions.
Who once busied your days until they were years,
too busy to give you the time for your tears.

You’re frightened I see, in this world undisguised.
Now so freakishly free that to your surprise,
You can’t know who you are when there’s nobody near
let alone when alone in this strange new era.

You reach for assumptions you took to be friends,
in the hope that they’ll cushion what you cannot pretend.

That nothing’s changed in these empty streets,
but for the whole damn earth that’s beneath your feet.

Well! At last, here’s the time.
So go on, leave behind,
the dead weight of lost time,
that’s built a life undefined.

Ssssh.

You step into the hush.
And look up at your eyes,
now easy to spot in the purest of skies.
And you shift yourself towards the new,
because at this point, what’s left for you to do?
But to walk and walk and then walk some more,
until you find yourself, you’re worth walking for.

…

Is that you over there, without your distractions?
So quietly aware of your autonomous actions.
Which won’t ever bend to the Kings of haste.
No, they’ll never neglect the silence, your space.

Let me hold this mirror up to you
For the God-willing chance you might finally see through
The beasts who play tricks on your almond eyes
Quashing your beauty with their beastly lies

Darling girl, won’t you please look into the glass
Even though I know it’s a Herculean task
Because the faces you see, they’re not your own
And the sins they reflect, they’re not yours to atone

What would be if you broke their stare?
Who would you see if their faces weren’t there?

Perhaps you’re afraid of what’ll remain
When there’s no-one left inside that frame
But an empty outline of a hollow face
Whose empty features you cannot trace

But keep looking dear girl, please don’t look away
If you want that face to be yours someday.

The man standing watch at the door to my dreams
Does little to veto its guests
So snakes and cracked planes are ushered on in
To a house of chronic unrest

He unwinds in the room where I can’t ever sleep
Indifferent to attempted escapes
Because he knows that he’ll prosper, regardless of whether
My dreams are asleep or awake

Try as I might to shield his light
It’s me against a battalion
Of disparaging hisses and venomous kisses
That send me into oblivion

Still, there’s solace in the one who never brings me peace
He’s the master of my war
Who – to all my cries – commands that I,
Must do better and be more

Did I choose the cries he blares in my head?
Or are his the only I’ll hear?
Well, I’ll take this love – the one that I know
The one in my shadow,
So I’m not alone with my fear.

I have a tiny secret
That I’d like to share with you
For when your will is done and gone
For days you just can’t do

Take a stroll here in this garden
And in the littlest of whiles
You’ll notice two resplendent roses
Blooming in the aisle

Breathe in their vital fragrance
It’s a scent of tickled cheer
A most sweetening reminder
That all is well in here

See how their splendid petals
Weave like lovely threads of lace
A show for the eyes how beauty can lie
In an unassuming place

And to touch these silky flowers
Is to get a tender hug
That wraps around the body
Like a cosy cashmere rug

Still, these roses they’re robust
And their thorns they can endure
Despite bullies, bugs, and other thugs
Their stems remain secure

I hear you ask, how do I know
Of the love our roses yield
Well, I’ve sat here in this garden
And felt how much they heal

I’ve seen them sway in tandem
Their leaves moving to the breeze
In a tranquil dance of true romance
They move as one with ease

I’ve heard their floral whispers
Those shared in quiet jest
By lovers who are grateful that
Together they love best

I’ve watched how both have wilted
And the other’s sacrificed
Their repository of rain drops
To revive the other’s life

I’m thankful to these roses
Who radiate today
Knowing that they’ll bundle
You in their bouquet

I scurried across oceans hoping to find me
Sure not to be found in the waters I’d been

Swimming my way through a torrent of skies
My laps an intentional cutting of ties

That swam me away from the pools of my home
Far away from the me I thought I had known

But as sure as the oceans that light up the stars
So too we’ll be wherever we are

I thought I saw you look my way

Or do my eyes deceive me again today?

Their lusting gaze are transfixed on the haze

That thickens in tandem with truth’s decay

I see you dancing in the lofty clouds

In the realm of dreams where I’m not allowed

And it pains me so, to inherently know

That the essence of you is just a shroud

For perilous apparitions

That won’t come to fruition

Because the deeper I dive, the lesser alive

I am to my earthly ambitions

Despite myself, I still look to the blue

Up above reason to where I see you

And from there in your bliss, you blow me a kiss

Which plagues me to think you might feel it too

For my eyes are spent and my neck is sore

I must not deny where I am anymore

Among the grass and the trees, who are ever at ease

Being wedded to this terrestrial floor

No, it will not do to dwell on your star

That brightens the higher up there you are

For all that might be, between you and me

I just cannot love from a distance this far

Why, when I’m still

Do I hear a stampede?

The wildebeest of peace

They’re charging at me;

A cluster of dusty horns

For as far as the eye can see

You tell me,

I must let them pass

They’re to trample on me

If there’s to be quiet at last

And why, then,

When I’m in my own

Is it a stifling place?

A ghetto of memories

That I cannot erase

And mirrors reflecting

A stifled face

I ask, why does the sky

Of what ‘could be’

And the low-hanging fruit

That fall from her tree

Have me so terrified

That they’ll all fall on me?

And why. Why

When I walk towards love

Do my feet fumble and flail

Across this taut tight rope

Of misguided hope

Or is it a slippery slope?

Because I’m sliding so fast

I just might not cope

You tell me to focus

In me, please remain

You repeat this to me

Time and again

Your trust, my girl,

It mustn’t wain

Because in the end

It will all be okay

I promise you this

It’s the only way

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

The notes would flutter about like butterflies

Painting swirls of brilliant colour

That reflect rainbows in her lovely eyes

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

The melody would fly her up above the clouds

To a haven of hope that welcomes dreams

Where she’s never told ‘no, you’re not allowed’

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

The lyrics would chat to her as if to a friend

Weaving laughter through each eloquent verse

And a truth on which she could always depend

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

The drums would beat to the pace of her heart

Comforting her in those echoes of silence

When she feels as though she’s falling apart

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

The instruments would each sound with perfect precision

Not one chime would be out of time

Her life, a symphony of a happy vision

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

She’d store the recording in the nook of her soul

A tender humming and daily reminder

That she is nothing other than immaculately whole

If I were to sing a song for Sophia

We’d do cartwheels to the song that I sang

We’d dance until dawn with eager abandon

Because we are each other’s ying and yang

It was an idle Tuesday, if I correctly recall

That we struck up our first conversation

When I saw you from afar, in that indistinguishable bar

Before approaching you with some trepidation

It wasn’t your appearance that caused unease in me

Nor was your disposition of any note

You stood casually cool, amidst an overflowing pool

Of mediocre men guzzling beer down their throats

Though a stranger detached, in my presence you knew

That I’d been waiting for this my entire life

To look into the eyes that could reveal my demise

And in the final crescendo, release me of strife

But death, like skilled men, knows how to tempt

To tease his prey before relenting

To her whimsical needs, and her heart that bleeds

For a dance with the devil that churns deep within

“Why does a beauty like you choose me amongst men?”

Are the first words that death utters to me

“Because you’re the only solution, to the mental pollution

Clouding the impetus that wills me to be”

“From this deluge of men, the only insight I’ve gained

Is that I am unequivocally alone

Each stale interaction masks a vacant distraction

And so I ride a breath that’s already flown

“Death, prey tell, how does a man of your stature see me?

Where do I teeter between suffering and success?

I need your clarity of vision, and your ultimate decision

That will guide me away from all this distress

“My adorable girl, how you do make me laugh

For I am not your martyr, nor your salvation

That you have sought me out, proves beyond reasonable doubt

That I must avoid the lure of temptation

“You see, my imperative’s to remain incognito

So that the dying should never fear my advance

When with a nonchalant step, I draw them closer to death

While affording them an affable glance

“Petal, this conversation is not of that world

And there are still many bars you must frequent

Before coming home with me, so much awaits you, you’ll see

Because your life, my dear is perfectly decent”

Then death retreated beyond the beer-soaked haze

Where I was left to converse with me

Awake to each breath, I felt vindicated by death

Now at ease with a future that I could not foresee

If I were a fool

I’d call upon my four year old self

In moments of catastrophic despair

Because I’d know that the indecipherable ramblings of a child

Hold far more wisdom than those of an articulate adult

If I were a fool

I’d give heed to these arbitrary words

Unencumbered

Uninhibited

Unpretentious

And unyielding in their honourable truth

If I were a fool

I’d ask more questions than there were answers to

Of more people than were willing to listen

Cognoscente that whilst society equates knowledge with power

The most profound power comes in knowing that we know nothing at all

If I were a fool

I’d act repeatedly on impulse

Well versed in the song of regret, I’d sing it with pride

Trusting that one day one of my ill conceived decisions

Will prove to be the most intelligently conceived of all

If I were a fool

I’d strive for diversity

Knowing that to dabble in a plethora of people, places, pastimes and professions

Doesn’t make me fickle or lazy

But instead cloaks me in a tapestry of texture and colour

If I were a fool

I’d recoil in shame at the hurt I’d caused others

But endeavour to calm the pangs of guilt

Because no suffering I’ve ever engendered

Has belonged to anyone other than me

If I were a fool

I’d see pink elephants dancing in the sky

Believing them to be as real as the taxes I pay

I’d solemnly swear that I was Juliet incarnate

And that Romeo stood but a Cupid’s arrow away

If I were a fool

I’d allow myself to indulge in the imaginary

Because selective naivety is not stupidity

It’s the keyhole through which we see the unseeable

And the vision that arms us with the courage to open life’s door

If I were a fool

I’d be afraid

Of failure

Of heartbreak

Of boredom

Of loneliness

Of longing

Of grief

If I were a fool

I’d be alive

To success

To love

To stimulation

To connection

To satisfaction

To gratitude

I’d be a fool to be anything other than foolish.